Blog #11: Dialogue in Action

Asteria

(Looks back at Hipp)

Bare your teeth tonight Pup, and rise to the position of Wolf.

(kisses Hipp’s forehead, grabs her sword and exits. Hipp takes a deep breath and follows).

Int. Penthesilea, she now dawn’s impressive shining body armor, in her hands she posses two swords, there is a fire in her eyes. She finds Phoebe and at her sight, the rest of the warriors rally behind her.

Penthesilea

(Raising her right arm/sword in the air)

Attack!!!

(The two armies clash; clanking metal and war cries’ fill the air. Penthesilea and Phoebe fight back to back and demonstrate very impressive killing ability, soon a pile of dead soldiers lies around them.)

(Cut to the three daughters, Lysipite stands atop a boulder and is picking soldiers off with her bow and arrow, Asteria shows off her quickness and skill with the sword and is easily killing soldiers. Hipp can only engage one soldier at a time, and she it takes her a while to kill him, but she eventually gets the job done.)

Lysipite

Dine on this!

(Shoots arrow in a soldier’s mouth)

Blog #10: Moving the Story Forward

Ajax

 Flower rejects affections again?

Ares

(getting in Ajax’s face)

She is not flower, but evil serpent!! Every word forged from her mouth drips with venom! Every action is blatant insult!

(Points to the cut on his neck)

Pierced skin only adds salt to wound.

Ajax

(Reluctantly)

Pride is only thing that suffers wound, strike the Amazons from mind and turn thoughts toward new conquests elsewhere.

Ares

(sits in front of fire, with a pensive look on his face)

No...not yet. If Penthesilea and her band of slithering serpents think it wise to mock the God of War they are sorely mistaken.

(looks up a Ajax)

I would have them pay with blood for embarrassments inflicted.

Ajax

(Wearily)

Blood? How many lives do you seek to end?

Ares

(Evil grin)

I seek to kill them all.

Blog #9: Dialogue, Defining Relationships

Asteria

I come yet closer

(Pets wolf on the head)

One day soon you shall know the taste defeat

Penthesilea

(chuckling)

I shall embrace such a day, in hopes that you can put silly contest to rest

(kneels down and scratches the wolf behind its ears)

Asteria

(smiling)

 Yet, silly contest serves to strengthen legs, providing welcome advantage on the battlefield.

Penthesilea

(wraps arm around Asteria, as the pair begin walking)

Your sword has yet to pierce skin and still you taste blood.

(kisses Asteria on her temple)

Patience child, your time in battle draws near

(pauses)

                                      Every wolf must learn to run before it can hunt

Blog #8: Writing Effective Dialogue

1. More dramatic, should be sharp and lean.

2. Sound out your dialogue. Read your dialogue out loud and see if it makes sense. Listen to how other people read your dialogues

3. Identify your characters by what they say. They need their own self. 

4. Try putting together two different characters. They might be able to work well together or they might explode...either way it makes for an interesting dialogue.

5. Trust yourself to listen to listen to how that character will be. Learn who your characters are, have compassion for them.

Blog #7: The Hollywood Formula

Opening Scene:
My opening scene takes place in a giant forest; it's early spring so the ground is clear of snow but the trees still stand bare of leave. The scene features Asteria (one of the three main characters) engaging in a foot race with her pet wolf, Argo. The camera follows the two of them as the dash through the forest, Asteria demonstrates incredible skill & agility as she manages to keep up with the wolf. Even though Argo wins the race, his margin of victory is small. The pair are then met by Penthesilea, the warrior Queen, who hints that there is an approaching conflict. This scene draws the audience in with and exciting race and a curious hint of approaching conflict.

Setting Up the Story:
The audience is then introduced to the rest of the cast. They meet Lysipite and Hipp who are training in the center of the camp. The competitive nature between Lysipite and Asteria is made very apparent as they are always making sly comments toward each other. Asteria is also set up as short of the "big sister" figure to Hipp. The conflict is also set up between Penthesilea and Ares. Ares has repeatedly made advancements toward Penthesilea. She has continued to reject his affections because she knows he's only being greedy and he doesn't truly love her. After the third and final attempt Penthesilea threatens to kill Ares if he barges in to her camp again.

Inciting Incident:
After being rejected yet again Ares is enraged, mostly because he is a selfish God and he thinks he can have whatever he wants. So, taking things to the extreme, he decides to punish all of the Amazons by killing them all. He leads his army to attack the camp. A battle ensues between Ares army and Penthsileas warriors. However there are just to many soldiers for the warriors to handle and they are slowly over-powered. The final blow was when Ares kills Penthesilea, this murder is witnessed by all three of the young warriors who, realizing the battle is lost, flee into the forest before they too are killed. Seeing their whole tribe killed over Ares' hurt pride enrages them and they vow vengeance.

Blog #6 Script Outline

1). Set-up
The story takes place in Ancient Greece. The main characters are Asteria, Lysipite and Hipp. They are three orphans who were taken in by the Amazons (a tribe of all female warriors). The opening scene: Asteria is racing her wolf, Argo.

2). Inciting Action
The god Ares has assended to earth in human form in order to pursue the affections of the Amazon Queen, Penthesilea. However, after Penthesilea rejects his affections, Ares becomes enraged and vows to destroy the Amazon tribe. He leads his army and attacks the tribe, killing all execpt the three daughters. After suffering the loss of their adopted tribe, the three young warriors burn with a passion of vengeance.

3). Rising Action
The three young warriors, recruite other skilled women and begin to train them in the Amazon fightening style. They build up a small elite group to take on Ares and his army.\

4). The small group of warriors sneek their way into Ares camp & begin killing off the guards to even up the numbers. Ares is occupied in a nearby town and is not present at the camp. This angers the three warriors and they leave the camp to find Ares. Ares is alerted by one of his generals and he avoids the trio by escaping back to camp to regroup with his remaining troops. The three warriors chase after Ares-the two armies meet in a clearing outside the forest.

5). A huge battle ensures, neither side seems to be gaining the advantage. Then Argo, Asterias wolf, wounds Ares and then is immediatly killed- enraged by this, Asteria challenges the weakened Ares and manages to gain the upper hand. She gravely wounds him-bringing him to his knees.

6). Asteria kill Ares and the battle stops, because his army is without a leader. The three young warriors have achieved vengeance!

Blog #5: Story Concept-Revised

Three fledgingly warriors must rise up against the God of War and his army, in order to seek retribution for their slaughtered tribe.